Facebook Status

Ron Zook, come back! We didn’t meant to hurt you, baby. You just sometimes made us angry with you. We promise we won’t hurt you again if you’ll just come back to the Gators. We even took down the fireronzook.com domain. We still love you. We’ll be good this time. Promise!


Facebook Status

You’re doing that dance again, aren’t you Joseph Hebert?


Facebook Status

P.E. Teacher: “Nice try, Mr. Burris. Two laps is NOT a mile. Run two more laps, you idiot.”
Me, yelling over my shoulder: “Savant!”

Pretty girl: “Matt, look up, my face is up here when you’re talking to me. I swear, men are such idiots!”
Me: “Savant!”

Annoyed roommate: “You don’t mix up your colors and whites in the washer. Come on, Matt, you’re not an idiot.”
Me: “Sava … oh.”

FINALLY! Someone finally gets it. It gets real tiresome and frustrating always having to correct and finish people’s sentences.


Facebook Status

Woke up freezing this morning, and no wonder! It was 65 degrees out! So I had to break out the parka and long johns, get the thick, huge comforter and the electric heater blanket out of the closet. Will have to start wearing thermal socks and the fur-lined boots from now on. Human beings weren’t meant to live in this freezing cold weather. People in Wisconsin are probably living in igloos by now.