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This morning I had eggs, toast, and OJ for brexit. It didn’t taste as good as I expected.


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And thus it begins.


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Screw Trump or Hillary for President. If you vote for me, first thing I’ll do as Prez is to make wet burps illegal. That kind of shenanigan has to go!

Also, second thing is to make it illegal for neighbors to grill steaks or hamburgers when you’re having ramen noodles for dinner and you weren’t invited.

Finally, read my lips: No. New. Taxes.


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What is it with my new neighbors? They moved in last month and already they destroyed the cable wire that provided our house with internet when they put new fence posts in the ground a few days ago. Then the transformer by their house blew up this morning, causing the electricity to go out here, and also explained why my internet wasn’t working last night again. I hope they’re not setting up a meth lab or something. Good thing I didn’t bake them a cake to welcome them to the neighborhood.