2004 April

Funniest eBay Auction Ever

A hilarious auction on eBay has a guy selling his newly ex-wife’s wedding dress. He actually wore the dress (pictures included) and has a write-up that had me laughing in tears.

“I found my ex-wife’s wedding dress in the attic when I moved. She took the $4000 engagement ring but left the dress. I was actually going to have a dress burning party when the divorce became final, but my sister talked me out of it. She said, “That�s such a gorgeous dress. Some lucky girl would be glad to have it. You should sell it on EBay. At least get something back for it.” So, this is what I�m doing. I�m selling it hoping to get enough money for maybe a couple of Mariners tickets and some beer.”

New Slang Of The Year

Apparently there’s a new slang word going around on the internet that I predict will carry on into the real world with some alarming, but certainly interesting, effect. The new word, an insult, is carebear. I was called a carebear today by someone who didn’t agree with my assessment of a game that I didn’t enjoy. I’ve also seen others use it directed at people who they don’t like. Such as:

“U suk. Ur a carebear.”

or:

“U must b a carebear, cuz u suck.”

The term can mean a number of things, but the applicable ones are stupid and unmanly. Other insults that I predict will develop after “carebear” is “little pony” and “strawberry shortcake” and further along the chain, “powerpuff girl.” The generation of kids born in the 80’s are hopeless.

Proof That Men Are Getting Smarter

Here’s proof that the male race is finally learning the truth and becoming smarter. A man chose a Playstation 2 over a buxom brunette at a “Bachelors” event for the Giants game in San Francisco. The men in the crowd cheered the decision.

The Playstation 2 is far better than sex with a stranger, safer too. Not to mention you won’t be given the “I got a headache” excuse. Besides, if you have a hankering for a female when you’re playing the Playstation 2, just get DOA: Xtreme Beach Volleyball. ;)

Free 64MB USB Hard Drive

Bellsouth is promoting their new Metro Ethernet Service, and they’re giving away a free 64MB USB flash drive. You don’t have to buy anything from them, just enter your name, address, and email.

I’m not sure if it’s a guarantee you’ll get it, but it’s Bellsouth, a reputable company (and good service when I had their phone plan while living in Jacksonville, FL.)

I have a 128MB one that NVIDIA sent me for Christmas last year, and it has proven to be very handy on many occasions. Think of it as 128 floppy disks that is a little smaller than a cigarette lighter. No setup is required if you use Windows 2000 or XP, just plug it into an available USB port, and it recognizes it as a regular hard drive that you can store data on. I’ve used it to store documents, photos, and music. I used it to backup data before I reformatted my hard drive, and I also use it to store programs to install at friends or family’s house. I’ve got my favorite web browser on it, as well as all my personal FTP settings, so I can update any webpage that I like to work on, anywhere. Definitely a cool little gadget to have, especially when you can get one for free.

Update: This never came in. Bleh.

We’re Not Gonna Take It

There’s a story on CNN about the former pro football player, Pat Tillman, who went on to join the Army and became a Ranger after giving up a $3.2 million contract to join the forces. I was reading that he was killed in Afghanistan today, while fittingly Twisted Sister’s We’re Not Gonna Take It is playing on iTunes. That pretty much sums up my thoughts on the whole matter. It’s getting tiresome to see these militant radicals that don’t represent their country nor their beliefs killing people in the name of some excuse they’ve dugged up. The fact that a man gave up millions to serve his country means that some people truly care about their own country by giving up a good life to ensure others have a better one. His sacrifice was the sacrifice for the people of Afghanistan to have a better life. Hundreds of thousands of others are also sacrificing their life, time, and sweat to do the same thing, in both Afghanistan and Iraq. They deserve our respect and support.

The same goes with the militant cleric urging a bloodbath instead of promoting peace like a real cleric should. I mean, come on, a “cleric” has no business being militant.

Honestly, this is becoming sickening and stupid how these radicals skew everything just so they can run around carrying guns and have an excuse to uphold their traditions, which include subverting women, living in the stone age, and repressing everyone with so-called leaders hell bent on power and wealth.

Curiousity Killed The Cat

Or very nearly did. My cat, Charcoal, has been missing for nearly 3 days. When I went to feed her 3 nights ago, she wouldn’t appear to eat. I figure she ran off and will be back later that night, which she sometimes does. But she didn’t show up around midnight when I called for her. The next day, I called for her again, but no sign of her. My roommate was getting worried, and I tried to figure out why she would disappear. The only things I could come up with is that she is in heat, and was hiding from the male cats, or someone in the neighborhood decided to take her inside and feed her. She has no collar on, nor any sign of ownership by me. We both looked all around the house, opened up the door to the guest room, closets, looked in cabinets, searched around the house, under the house, the cars, looked in the trunks, and asked the neighbors if they’ve seen her. Nothing, no Charcoal.

Last night, while watching TV, I smelled urine. Bootsy, one of our maturing male cats, has had a bad habit lately of spraying piss on the walls when he would get inside. He used to be an inside cat most of the time, but when he started spraying, we left him outside. I figured that Bootsy got inside again, and sprayed. This morning, I was curious to see where the urine was so I could clean it up. The roommate was talking to me, and suddenly she hears a meow. She pointed to the recliner that I never use, and when I lifted the footrest out from under the chair, out ran Charcoal. She was bewildered at first, but recognized me enough to want to rub up against me.

I was freaking out and unsure what to think. I never use the chair, and neither of us knew it had a hole under the chair for a curious cat to get stuck in. I immediately went and got a can of cat food, filled up a bowl with fresh cold water, and gave her half a can of food, and set the bowl of water in front of her too. I remember in the movies I’d watch where a person had gone without food or drink for a long period, not to give them too much, or they’d ralph it all up. So I’ll have to feed Charcoal in tiny amounts about 4-5 times today to make sure she gets nutrition back. She has peed under the chair, but that’s all. She’s outside now, and I’m going to have to watch her closely to make sure she’s ok.

I intend to get a collar, to make sure noone steals her away from me. I also learned a valuable lesson; turn the house upside down if the cat goes missing, even furniture and other objects that may contain spaces for a cat to get stuck in. What’s odd is that Charcoal didn’t meow much, didn’t vocalize that she was stuck in there, until this morning. The roommate said she heard meowing last night, but assumed it was one of the cats outside (we do have 5 of them, after all.) I’m just grateful that we were able to find Charcoal in time, and that she will be okay. The curiousity killed the cat? Not this time, thankfully.

Cajun Boiled Peanuts

Nothing says “I’m glad baseball season is here” like a good hot batch of cajun boiled peanuts fresh out of the pot. I grew up eating the stuff. Everytime my dad and I would go to the Florida Gators football games, along the way there’d be cajun boiled peanut stands about every 5 miles leading towards the stadium. We’d always stopped at this one vendor that was reputed to having the hottest, tastiest, and plumpest cajun peanuts you could buy. And trust me, they were hot. One day I asked the guy for the recipe, and he was reluctant, but a few crisp 20 dollar bills, and a bowl of my world famous chili (well, I’m working on the world part), and he gave in. So here’s the goods:

• 2 lbs. green peanuts
• 3 tbs. chili powder
• 3 fresh jalapeno peppers (seeded and chopped)
• 2 chipotle peppers in adobo sauce (chopped)
• 5 cloves of garlic (peeled and smashed)
• 1 large yellow onion (quartered)
• 1 tbs. cumin
• 1 package Zatarain’s crab & shrimp boil
• 1 1/2 cup crushed red pepper flakes

Throw everything in a large pot (or Dutch oven), fill it up with water until everything floats, put on the stove on high until it boils, then bring it down to medium heat so it gets to a soft rolling boil. Stir every two hours. Cook for a minimum of 24 hours. Add water as needed to keep peanuts under water. Enjoy with an iced cold lime tequila with the rims salted and a fire extinguisher nearby, just in case. You can substitute jalapeno peppers with cayenne peppers if you don’t want it too hot. But then, that wouldn’t be a true cajun boiled peanut. ;)

Obligatory picture below, click to enlarge (928kb):