Why Older Women Like Younger Men

Maxim Online has an article about how to find an older woman and please her (if you’re a young guy that is.) I do agree with the article about the benefits, I have some experience with older women, but it’s written to make it seem like an elaborate game to just dump hormones, not something that can be meaningful. Or maybe that’s the way it is, and I’m just being young, dumb, and full of… err, anyways, read it, it’s interesting.

Update: Since the article is no longer at Maxim and I can’t find it elsewhere on the net, I’ve had to use the Internet Archives to dig it up. The article is written by Rosie Amodio for Maxim Online. I copied the article and you can read it below.

Younger guys and older women: Why should Ashton and Justin have all the fun? Rosie Amodio explains the benefits of Mrs. Robinsons…and how to score one.

Maxim, June 2004

By Rosie Amodio

Like lots of girls my age, I’ve had a stud puppy. I was 26, he was 21. He’d been on some reality TV show, but mostly I dated him because he was young. I was tired of waffling late-20s commitmentphobes and wanted a fun, no-strings-attached fling. Who better than a hot guy I could brag about to my friends? Best of all, you don’t even have to be hot: Since we’d never introduce a boy toy to our friends anyway, your looks are irrelevant. Matter of fact, you’ll be Brad Pitt’s body double in the stories we tell.

Why have a fling with a woman who’s, say, five to 10 years your senior? For one, we’re usually further along in our careers, so we can pay for dates and impulsively spring for a weekend in Vegas. Ka-ching! But the real incentive is you can safely dispense with all the left-brain romancing that goes into trying to bed a chick your age. There’s no “Where are we?” Just “Where are you? Let’s do it!” Ready to join the club? Here’s the four-point plan.

The pickup: Look where young girls fear to tread.
Where do you find an older gal on the prowl? Look carefully—we make extra efforts to avoid the competition. Look for us at office parties (we’ll crash our friends’), concerts (pick a girl-friendly band from five to 10 years ago), or late-night at bars (we don’t have to run home to anyone). Or try volunteering for once: The gal you’re looking for is ready to give back to society…and to you, maybe.

Once you’re in our habitat, watch us for signs of interest. While younger girls unconsciously shake their asses to Beyoncé while ordering a drink, older women are completely aware of what signals our body language is sending. Is she making eye contact for three seconds or more? Is she brushing your arm while reaching for a napkin? Are her arms uncrossed, toes pointed in your direction? Sticking her tongue down your throat? We know when we’re sending flirting signs, so if you see one, make your move.

But here’s the key: Once you have our attention, don’t pretend you think we’re 18. Make our age a plus by using flattering words like “sophisticated,” “elegant,” and “self-assured” to describe us. “A guy I dated picked me up in the cheesiest way. He said he’d been watching me all night but was intimidated because I seemed worldly and stylish,” says Luanne, 31. “Normally, I’d laugh in a guy’s face for that, but since he seemed nervous and sweet, I didn’t care that it was a canned line. He followed up with some random story he’d read in the paper. The easygoing conversation—instead of small talk—reeled me in.”

Proof it works: “An older woman doesn’t expect you to be smooth as long as you’re being respectful,” says Jim, 27, who’s made it work. “What you’re going for is immediately understood: She knows it’s a game.”

The wooing: Show a little class.
If you want to turn the corner with this girl…uh, woman…act like a gentleman. We’ve had a lot of dates to compare you to, so don’t skimp on the basics like paying for her dinner and calling when you say you will. Don’t worry that you’re leading us on: We’re sick of mind trips and will find your dependability sexy, not desperate. We’ll love a bunch of tulips without worrying that you’re too into us or wondering why they aren’t roses—none of that overanalytic female brain activity younger girls can’t turn off.

But being chivalrous doesn’t mean being boring. We’re burned out on cautious, see-how-it-goes first dates, and we’re fed up with same-old, same-old corporate get-to-know-you talk. “I dated this 25-year-old who was such a party boy,” says Jane, 35. “We’d go see a band at a local club and stay out all night drinking during the week! I knew I couldn’t keep it up indefinitely, but I also knew it wasn’t forever.” The number one way to win us over: Show us a damn good time.

So be polite…and witty and fun. Age makes us women less uptight about sexuality, so you can be your off-color self. Tell the weird jokes, talk about the Paris Hilton video, even tease her about the age difference. (“So, are you my Demi?”) Don’t be afraid to match our dirty double entendres, and feel free to steer a seemingly tame conversation about kitchenware into sexy banter on aphrodisiacs.

Proof it works: “Sure, when I dated a 30-year-old, I tried to act more sophisticated. I dressed well, held doors, bought her flowers, wore cologne,” says Benjamin, 23. “I’m sure I was nothing like the rich bankers she dated, but my efforts were genuine, so it really helped me impress her.”

The shag: Hand her the reins.
You got her all the way to the bedroom door? You’re in for a nice surprise. More-mature gals are comfortable talking about sex, and we’re also comfortable having it. We lead, you don’t have to worry whether or not we’re having a good time, and everybody’s happy. “The first time Billy and I had sex, I was the boss,” says Jane, 29. “He asked me what I liked and how I liked it. It wasn’t dominatrixlike; I was just taking care of him.”

Yes, older women are going to demand more foreplay, because we know what it takes to turn us on. But a payoff is that we’ll demand crazier sex too—taking you to those porn star places you never knew existed. “Once we went out, flirted all night, and didn’t even make it back to my place,” says Karina, 36. “We were walking upstairs when I grabbed Dave, knelt down, and went to work.” And you’ll get more “foreplay,” too: a.k.a. more head than you know what to do with. We’ve shaken off our hang-ups about going down, and revel in the fact that we have the power to bring you to your knees just by getting on our knees. Whatever it is we do in bed, if it was the best ever…and it probably was…for God’s sake, tell us. It’ll just make us want you even more.

Proof it works: “My fling was a crazy lady, I guess from experience. She’s riding me, buck wild, when she stops cold, stares into my eyes, smiles slyly, dismounts, and starts giving me head,” says Alex, 27. “I almost died.”

The adios: Be a man about good-bye.
Who knows, maybe you could get used to the expenses-paid weekend getaways and killer sex. Yep, she might be the one. But if not, she’ll appreciate your not wasting her 30s by lingering after the lust is gone. “It’s a mental rush to date some 23-year-old guy, but it’s weird if it goes on for too long,” says Jenny, 36. “You realize you’re not doing the things normal couples do, like meeting each other’s friends or going to movies on Saturday afternoons. It’s fun, but you start thinking, Should I be trying to get into a real relationship?”

When do you say good-bye to your good-time girl? When you start experiencing the downs of a relationship (going to boring functions, shopping for duvets, fighting) without the ups (having fun hanging out together with your clothes on). When it’s time, let us down with class and honesty. Tell us you think we’re amazing but we’re in different places. That way we won’t feel old and used…just old and ready for real commitment. Trust us: If you break things off with style, you’ll keep the memories of a bonk-filled good time for years to come. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll keep your number on speed dial in case we need a booty call from a hot, young stud.

Proof it works: “There comes a point when you can’t keep up with their lifestyle,” says Jason, 25. “In my case, it was time to call it quits when she made it clear she realized we had no future but started talking about wanting to have kids and stuff. A couple of days later, I told her, ‘You’re amazing, and this has been a blast, but I don’t think I can give you the lifestyle you deserve.’”
But thanks for the shag, lady.

How to Spot the Prowler

Find the ones who want you to be their trophy boy.

Her hair is professional-looking, but the skirt is way too short for corporate America? She went home to change so that young bucks like you wouldn’t mistake her for a grownup.

Self-respecting adults don’t wear HELLO KITTY or U-PUMP-IT ringer tees out of nostalgia. She wore this hoping you’d take the bait and use it for a pickup line.

Sensible shoes and a large bag (enough room for spare undies and a toothbrush)? She’s prepared to stay out all night if necessary.

Catch a triangle of thong, a peek of garter, or another hint of something provocative underneath? She got dressed today thinking about undressing tonight.

A walker may be a step too far. Unless you’re actually turned on by the smell of Preparation H, make sure you’re in the will before you bag the hag.
—Todd Detwiler

10 Responses to “Why Older Women Like Younger Men”

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  1. As an “older” single woman at 41, I have to say I found the Maxim article somewhat offensive.

    Yes, perhaps older women are more at ease sexually – but they’ve had more time to explore both sex and their own sexual identity. But to say that older women are mostly out for “boy toys” is just a shame.

    I’ll be blatantly honest here – part of the reason I’m attracted to younger men is because they are often free of too much bitterness toward past relationships, they tend to (not always) be more sexually enthusiastic and interested, and they tend to be, at least in the U.S., more comfortable with stronger women.

    My one hesitancy about getting involved with younger men has always had to do with the fact that I’m not running after marriage or children, and if that’s something they want, and we can have a meaningful relationship – well, that causes conflict, and I don’t want to stand in anyone’s way when it comes to fulfilling their life goals.

    Maybe I have ethics, and that’s what goes against the grain of the Maxim article, which pretty much advocates having younger man / older woman sex but shutting the door on the way out. That’s sad. Even if the relationship is based on mutual sexual interest, well, I don’t know about everyone else, but I sure like a little lovin’ while I’m being screwed.

    The quality of human relationships should always boil down to the love. I don’t care if it lasts five minutes or a lifetime, there’s simply too much abuse and hatred in the world to add more to it.

    My more than two cents . . .
    Molly :)

  2. horai

    Well said Molly.

  3. I found the article offensive too, but only because it seems the author was hinting that older women just want meaningless sex when it comes to having younger men. Surely us young guys have more qualities than good sex partners? Such as we’re more adventurous, more willing to take risks, and are a blank slate, we can be taught. :)

  4. I hope I have room to get all this in here.

    I have something relevant to say about this, but I should warm up to it a little. If you’ll indulge me, I’ll get to that in a moment.

    I met Linda when I was 1800 miles from home and had just been “Dear-Johne”ed by somebody that I had corresponded wtih for two years. Linda and I were both soured by the whole dating thing when we met on the campus of a major denomination’s confererence center campus in the foothills of the Rockies. It seemed like the perfect friendship – we weren’t interested in the dating rat race and everybody around us was *consumed* by it. Therefore, we did a lot of things together because we were immune. We had a great time together. We went to movies, ate out with friends, went hiking, and walked through the historic streets of old Santa Fe, oblivious to the raging hormones that seemed to afflict everybody else.

    This lasted for maybe 12 weeks (which seemed like eternity or the blink of an eye, depending on your perspective, a very quick timeless moment).

    One night, I saw her walking toward me in a skirt at the Chuckwagon. I was eating a hot fudge sundae (with extra fudge). She was radiant and oblivious to her beauty. She had the longest, sexiest legs I’d ever seen and it occurred to me as she sat down that I hadn’t thought of __________ in about ten weeks. This was A Big Deal because I’d come out there for this other girl and Linda had cast all thought and memory of her out of my mind with her smile and her friendly disinterest in guys.

    Things happened quickly after that. We were holding hands after the incident with the pretend bear and we were hugging for hours on end shortly thereafter. I don’t remember when we had our first kiss, but I remember the kiss itself as if it were yesterday. All other kisses are mere reflections of that kiss.

    It got to the place where we could seemingly read each other’s minds and emotions. This was both a blessing and a curse. From the other side of the campus, I could tell when she wanted to eat breakfast and when she needed to go to Santa Fe for pizza and a movie (or simply to spend two hours necking in the mall parking lot). I could also tell the time when there was a black cloud over her head and when I should leave her be.

    She called me after that and that’s when I heard her story; how she was technically engaged but came to New Mexico to get some time to think. Yours truly didn’t know that and had gone and fallen in love. Worse yet, I’d wooed her so successfully that she’d fallen in love with me, too. Her fiance drove up from AZ to clear things and was sent packing – she’d agreed to marry him because it was a very small town in a very remote place but she’d never really loved him and she’d needed time to see that. She finally knew love, but it wasn’t with him, it was with me.

    So as it turns out, I was The Other Man.

    That was when I volunteered to step aside for this man, but she didn’t love him and she wanted to be with me. I left it up to her. I drove her back to AZ at the end of the summer in time for her to teach, and I met her ex (which is another story unto itself).

    We settled into a routine – we called each other every weekend and I wrote to her every night. We’d see each other for the weekend every six weeks; she’d come back up to NM or I’d go to AZ. Around the fourth visit, we started talking about what it would be like to be married. I don’t really remember proposing and I don’t remember her accepting, but one visit we were boyfriend and girlfriend and another we were engaged. When her parents visited, I did ask her Father for her hand and his blessing, and he and her mother cheerfully agreed.

    Here we are at long last – the revelation.

    At some point during one of her visits, the topic of age finally came up. We were sitting somewhere quiet and she was reclining back against me and I had my arms wrapped around her. She mentioned in passing when she’d graduated from High School in ’74 and from college in ’78 and I started to do some mental math. I mentioned that I’d graduated from High School in ’81 and we had this moment of epiphany fall on us – she was seven years older than I.

    There was a brief awkward moment and then we both started laughing – we were long past caring about something as simple as the Julian Calendar by this point and decided it didn’t matter. It wasn’t a factor at that moment and it has never mattered to either one of us ever since.

    And, yes, older women can be fantastic in bed as I discovered on December 22, 1985, our wedding night 18 and a half years ago. We have been keeping each other warm and frisky ever since.

  5. Merlin

    Im 21, love older women love to please and i can do so. My experiance older women is great and i choose it. Love the smile and when im with dosent matter i actually get looked at other older women who i treat, The treat is mutal.

  6. Jason

    i am 23 and recently had a 39 year old woman.. the way we met was online and we decided to meet somewhere.. once we met we got a long great.. within an hour of our date we were having sex in an alley somewhere during broad day light!!! incredible!! i am addicted to older women now.. thanks alot all you sexy older women. keep up the good work ;)

  7. Hey, I’ve been looking for some honest and good conversation on the subject of younger men dating/having sex/making love to older women for ages! I randomly came across in this blog on a random google search. So, besides, my rambling I would like to ask, any tips? I’m 29 right now. I had my first experience with an older, 47 year-old woman, when I was 26.

  8. Reina de la Bachata

    I am 39 ad seeing a 26 year old. Contrary to popular belief, it isn’t just for the sex. Since we met I felt a sweetness about him and with him that I haven’t felt in a long while. The sex is good, but his spirit and the twinkle in his smile is what I like most, and I would have liked that in him at any age, had he been 40 for example. I enjoy the fact that he isn’t jaded. I can tell he hasn’t had a huge disappointment in love, and that innocence somehow infuses me with positive energy. Well, that’s all I can say as it has only been a few weeks………

  9. shawn

    yes older women are much more fun then young women. they know what they want & how to get it. it is a turn on to be taken by a woman who knows what she wants & how to get it.

  10. I’m a 23 year old guy. I have never had sex or even have ever gotten an opportunity to kiss a woman. As a matter of fact, I ONLY get sexually aroused when I come across older women preferably 35 or more but less than 55. With young girls, I don’t get sexually aroused at all ! Is this a problem that I may have? I come from a country where older women don’t appreciate having sex with younger men. I’m not familiar with what happens abroad, if someone could explain me in detail about ”who is using who” , ”sexual preferences of older women” in Detail, it would be quite helpful as I’m planning to shift to a country where these things are possible. Thank you! :)

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