Sorry, Officer, I Have No Money

The Florida State Trooper group called me tonight, at 8 p.m., I might add, asking for donations. I politely told the guy that we can barely afford food and paying the rent, no thanks in large part to the damages done by the hurricanes. The guy was persistent though, saying that instead of the usual $35 donation, there are minimal packages that I can donate to, because there are officers that are getting killed in the line of duty and they are doing a crucial job to protect society.

I can fully understand the monumental task police officers and troopers go through each day, and if I had money, I would gladly donate, but I don’t. The guy kept badgering me though. He had a distinct Texan accent, and since I can mimic one very good, I decided to switch to my Authentic Texan Accent and said, “Now sir, if yer can guarantee that you won’t be pullin’ me over an’ look the other way when I’m breaking the law, I’ll gladly donate ten dollers to yer dern charity thing.”

He apologized for wasting my time and hung up. Next year, if I have money, I’ll make it a priority to donate. For now, I need to make it a priority to keep my refridgerator as less bare as possible. I got me dern shotgun by me trusty trigger finger in case any dern hooligan decide to be ransackin’ around here.

4 Responses to “Sorry, Officer, I Have No Money”

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  1. mom

    If you get real hungry, I know that there be sum big raccoons in them dere trees of yours. You never let me down for a good laugh! I love you son! mom.

  2. SnipeShot62

    please be honest and say you don’t want to donate. everyone has $5. you just bought a new system!. when I had no money I didn’t eat. you CHOSE not to give money (your choice). just asking you to be honest.

  3. Yes, I did buy my new system, after working very hard to help people clean up the damage left by the hurricanes here in Florida. After years of paying bills, and such, I was finally able to spend money on me that I earned with hard work. It’s not like I am able to buy a new system often … my system was well over 2 years old, and I use it everyday.

    The guy called me right when I had to pay the rent, insurance, get groceries, pay utility bills, and outstanding dues from last month’s bills. I had no money, and I told him so. If I didn’t want to donate, I would’ve told him that, but I would love to, like I said, if I did have money to donate. I also have a roommate, and an 85 year old woman to take care of, because her house was damaged from Hurricane Frances, and is not livable until it gets repaired. Thanks to FEMA not giving near enough money to take care of it, we’re having to pay out of our own pockets to repair the house.

    So you asking me to be honest, assuming that I wasn’t being honest in the first place, discourages me. The Florida State Troopers aren’t the only one in need of financial help, you know.

  4. Anonymous

    All Texans are not that pushy and not than dumb. I am proud to be a Texan!!!!!!

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