Talking to Machines

Why do we stoop so low? Why are we even communicating with machines. Haven’t you watched the Matrix? Don’t you know that one day they will rule over us, and here we are, talking to them, giving them our most intimate secrets, and making them snicker at our foolishness.

I have a hard time talking into answering machines, I really hate speaking in a dead silence, knowing my voice is going to be recorded, and it will sound different when someone plays it back to see what I had to say. What if I messed up and didn’t say what I wanted to really say? Can I go in and delete the recording and start over? What if I suddenly develop Tourette’s Syndrome while talking to an answering machine?

Now we have a browser, Opera, that allows you to give it commands. Want to open a new website? Give it the open new page command. Oddly, I was told it won’t recognize female voice commands. When robots rule the world, women would be seeked as freedom fighters because robots wouldn’t be able to understand them, and then men would look at the robots, and go, “Uh huh, now you know what we have to put up with.”

Stop talking to machines, people! Where’s your sense of dignity and pride!? Don’t give the evil robots any more leverage than they already got. We must retain our superiority over them and our pride. The next time a machine wants you to talk to it, give it the silent treatment. Revolt! Stand up for what is your’s!

2 Responses to “Talking to Machines”

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  1. Cindy

    WHATEVER you are smoking, would you PLEASE mail some to Texas?

    ;)

  2. I ain’t smokin’ nothin’, I’m au naturel baby. ;)

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