The Monster Ate the Pilot

The Captain started pushing buttons and pulled back on the stick
his co-pilot looked around and pulled out a lighter named Bic,
lit a cigarette and started coughing,
at this the Captain started laughing.

Sunny skies and blue clouds outside,
and something ugly, big, and black flew by.
It landed on the wing and ran towards a window,
it blew it in with just one single blow.
In crawled the Monster, amidst screams and fright,
and an old lady thought to herself, “This is a very bad flight.”

The Monster ate a man, a terrorist with a shoe bomb, a suitcase, and a woman’s purse,
but don’t worry, it could’ve been a whole lot worse!
He could’ve ate that little kid without question,
but The Monster hates kids, they give him indigestion.

The Monster reached the cockpit, knocking the door down with a swift kick,
the co-pilot, in a fright, threw the lighter named Bic,
but the Monster is too swift, it missed, now the Monster is pissed!
The Monster ate the Pilot, the co-pilot, and the flight stick.

This had the unfortunate side-effect of making the plane descend fast,
making the Monster think this life may just be his last.
The Monster felt fear for the first time, he puked up everything,
and I do mean everything, even a shoe bomb shoestring.
What about the terrorist you ask? He killed himself in the Monster’s tummy.
What did you expect, he wanted to meet the 72 virgins and make his family some money!

Suddenly the old lady who thought this was a bad flight, came in,
she scolded the Monster, and replaced the missing flight stick with a bobby pin.
The Monster wanted to eat the pin, but the old lady slapped it,
she told the Monster he had to fly the plane, and ordered it to sit.
However, the Monster’s hands were too big. It grunted, shrugged and whined.
Just then the kid came barging in, said in a high-pitched voice, “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine.”

The little kid grabbed the bobby pin, and yanked back,
the plane lurched upwards, sending the Monster flying back into the air with a crack.
The Monster got an ugly bump on its head, all it saw was black.

The kid, without fear, cried Mayday! Mayday! into the mic,
the air traffic controller said not to worry, flying a plane is like riding a bike.

Once the plane landed, the kid became a hero,
the bobby pin went to a museum in San Francisco.
The Monster became a test subject for a bunch of scientists,
making it wish it stayed at home eating grits.

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