People talk about mid-life crisis often, but you don’t hear anything about a beginning-life crisis. Us young ones do break down too, you know? I feel like I’m in the midst of such a crisis. On top of discovering that my father has throat cancer, I’m finding a myriad of other things developing with me. Namely:
Lost passion in hobbies such as cooking and web design
Hiding in video games and movies
Day long depression
I’m not sure which of the above is due to discovering my father has cancer, but I’m sure some of it is a result. To add to the list, I get news tonight from my aunt about certain lifestyle choices my mother has made that will hurt her, and may even kill her. I won’t get into details, but I’m overwrought with disappointment and anger. What makes all this difficult is that I’m an easy-going level-headed kind of guy, I rarely lose my temper, but lately it seems all my emotions are beyond my control, and I really hate that.
A sinus problem and soreness in the throat for over a month prompted my dad to finally visit the doctors, and they saw a tumor in his throat. My dad has cancer, and we won’t know more until Tuesday when he will have a biopsy done. I’ve known for a couple of days now and I’m still in shock about it. I realize the only thing we can do is stay positive and hope for the best. I knew all the years of smoking and heavy drinking would catch up to him at some point, but I didn’t think it’d do so when he’s in his 50’s. That’s too early for me, although anytime is never a good time when it comes to cancer.
Our relationship is a pretty good one. We disagree on a lot of things, mostly when it comes to career, but I’m very lucky to have a father who is also my best friend. We are both life-long Florida Gators fan, we both love baseball (I’m a Braves fan, he’s a Phillies fan), and we have similar tastes in rock music, fashion choices, and movies. My dad is hip and anyone he works with enjoys his company. He’s a people person, he knows how to make those around him comfortable and he is one of the most gracious host I’ve ever known. He is overwhelming unselfish when he has money, willing to help those around him when they need something. He’s in really good shape for his age; he likes to go out everyday and play basketball with the kids at the local college.
I love my dad, and he will not die. Not to cancer. He doesn’t have my permission to die.