2006 February

I Crack Myself Up

Sometimes I get so silly, I can’t help myself. This time I gone off and done it again.

What would happen if Google bought MySpace? GoogleSpace! Here’s my GoogleSpace:

http://mburris.googlepages.com/home - Warning: Not boss/kid safe.

Oh No You Didn’t!

Sweet mother of Jesus!  Someone made crawfish cappucino on Iron Chef.

That’s just … wrong.

Southern by the Grace of God

I found a few things lying around the kitchen to make this southern dish. It consists of cooked white rice at the bottom, then layered on top collard greens that was cooked in spicy pickled garlic (5 cloves), balsamic vinegar, and lots of salt. Then on top of that I layered black eyed peas that cooked with stewed tomatoes, jalapenoes, and cilantro. To top it all off, I used a delicious pepper sauce (you can see the bottle behind the plate) that made the dish go from good to great. That’s as southern as it gets, folks.

Top 10 Facts about Jack Bauer

People know plenty about Chuck Norris, but what about the man who can kick his butt in his sleep, Jack Bauer? If you’re in the dark, Jack Bauer is the fictional character from the hit television show, 24. Here are the top 10 facts about Jack Bauer you should know:

1. When he yells at you that we don’t have time for this, he’s really saying he’s about to shoot you in the leg … twice, if you don’t tell him what he needs to know.
2. If you hear him say, “I think you’re making a mistake.” then he’s about to shoot you in the leg again, and he’ll tell the medic not to give you any pain killers.
3. When he stammers, looks at the floor, and says something quietly, he’s not being sensitive. He’s just wondering how many terrorists he has kicked in the nuts that day.
4. If you fall in love with him, be sure you can hold a relationship over the cell phone for most of the day. When he comes home, don’t ask him what he did at work, you’ll just get a rundown of torture techniques that happens to be the flavor of the week at the time.
5. MacGyver calls up Jack Bauer all the time to ask him what he can do with certain household objects when the situation gets bad.
6. If Jack Bauer doesn’t trust you, and you don’t trust him, then trust me, you’re screwed.
7. When Jack Bauer goes to bed, his good dreams are filled with terrorists having nightmares about meeting him.
8. Jack Bauer’s roundhouse kick isn’t lethal, only because he wants to knock you out to torture you later for info.
9. Jack Bauer doesn’t eat. He inserts an IV feed that gives him everything he needs to kick ass for 24 hours straight.
10. A terrorist slapped Jack Bauer once. Once.

Gridwars - Geometry Wars Clone

Rarely a game comes along that is insanely fun, simple, and free. So when one does come by, I’m on it like a redneck on a filet mignon smothered with a vermouth and mustard sauce. One such game I’ve discovered tonight and that has me in a giddy state of glee, is GridWars. It’s essentially a clone of the insanely popular minigame, Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved, which is an Xbox 360 game called Project Gotham Racing 3.

It’s like the classic Atari game, Asteroids, but much more insane and addictive. It features blazing fast gameplay, trippy colors, and some sweet powerups. This game is best suited if you have a dual analog controller, like my Logitech Cordless Rumblepad 2, which works excellent for this game.

The Rumors Start Again

Last year, some false and incriminating rumors surfaced about me, and for some reason they have popped up again today. When will people learn!?! Spreading defamatory rumors like this can get someone sued into the ground! Stop it, please.