Happiness in a Box

Wingstreet Restaurants

Growing up being into spicy foods and having a father that enjoyed sports bars meant that I got to try every imaginable buffalo wing flavors and heat levels. After so many years of that, only a few places stood out, with wings that had unique flavors or unbearable heat levels (usually these kind of wings weren’t even listed on the menu and the owner/manager of the place would come out to confirm you really want to bring on the pain.)

So, a year ago, when I discovered that Pizza Hut joined up with Wingstreet in co-location to sell their “award-winning” buffalo wings, I scoffed at the notion of a major franchise actually having anything both spicy and flavorful.

Oh, how so very wrong was I. Very, very wrong. My eyes nearly fell out of my skull when I took my first bite of Wingstreet’s Burning Hot Bone-In buffalo wings. My skepticism was wiped out by pain and sheer joy. Not only were they pretty hot (coming from a franchise, mind you) but they had, what I later officially declared, the best flavor on a buffalo wing I ever tasted.

I know I haven’t tasted everything out there yet in buffalo wing land, and I’m certainly trying, but I’m not exaggerating when I saw I’ve tried thousands of different kinds in the course of my 28 years of kicking it on this blue ball of a planet.

So fast forward a year or so later, and here I am tonight, scarfing down on what I now deem as Happiness in a Box, Wingstreet’s hottest and best tasting wings:

Wingstreet Wings


Clearing Your Throat for Attention

Comedy

I gave up on clearing my throat to get the attention of others who are preoccupied. It has lost its effectiveness in these modern times, so as a course of action, I’ve evolved and developed a new method of getting attention.

I now make retching noises. This has a highly effective 100% success rate. No longer do you have to clear your throat multiple times to get the attention you deserve. My retching noise method is guaranteed to work, every single time.

As an added bonus, it will get the attention of multiple people if there are more than one person in the room with you. So if you have something really important to say, my method works wonders. Practice isn’t even necessary, a beginner will also attain a 100% success rate.

I highly recommend you try this method at your next family gathering or company event, and be amazed at how superior it is over the old throat clearing method.

Note: Disregard the look of sheer horror generated by this method, it is a necessary side-effect for achieving your goal — getting attention.


Ahead of its Time

Trent Reznor - Pretty Hate Machine

When talking about albums that are ahead of its time, many people think of Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon, The Flaming Lip’s Soft Bulletin, U2’s The Joshua Tree, Radiohead’s OK Computer, Massive Attack’s Blue Lines, or David Bowie’s Low. However, one of my favorite that has withstood the test of time and still to this day sounds ahead of its time is Nine Inch Nails’s Pretty Hate Machine.

The day I first heard it was also the day I played my first first-person shooter. I played Doom on the Sega CD (those were the days) while listening to this amazing album. It heralded an era of consistently excellent releases from Trent Reznor over the years, all the way up to the latest album, Year Zero.

With PHM, I love every single song a lot, so ordering them is like a parent having to choose a favorite child. You love each one in a unique way, but you can’t really rank them. However, That’s What I Get and Down In It seem to get a lot more listens from me.

Here’s the song, That’s What I Get:

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Mahatma Gandhi

Mahatma Gandhi

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.

He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.

This made him a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.