Clearing Your Throat for Attention

Comedy

I gave up on clearing my throat to get the attention of others who are preoccupied. It has lost its effectiveness in these modern times, so as a course of action, I’ve evolved and developed a new method of getting attention.

I now make retching noises. This has a highly effective 100% success rate. No longer do you have to clear your throat multiple times to get the attention you deserve. My retching noise method is guaranteed to work, every single time.

As an added bonus, it will get the attention of multiple people if there are more than one person in the room with you. So if you have something really important to say, my method works wonders. Practice isn’t even necessary, a beginner will also attain a 100% success rate.

I highly recommend you try this method at your next family gathering or company event, and be amazed at how superior it is over the old throat clearing method.

Note: Disregard the look of sheer horror generated by this method, it is a necessary side-effect for achieving your goal — getting attention.

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